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I am in awe of their beauty, which moves me and inspires me in ways I never knew possible. So my challenge is this: In our 20s it seems like fat guys are just one type of guy we like. He's not making fun of you, he's cruising you. I can remember conversations about fat from early childhood. Basically, people react to me the same way they react to fat.

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For example, if you're comfortable seeing yourself as a writer, then you probably don't have a problem if a guy says, "I just love writers.

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Simply talking about my body issues over the years has helped—with friends mostly, but also now with colleagues. Now, there are encouragers who fatten unsuspecting partners for the encourager's sexual pleasure. Just how important are looks to gay men?

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So perhaps you're a little unsure if a guy says, "I just love Latinos.

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